I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
im on a boat
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