I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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