guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
A+ Viking dick
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