between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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