what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
