so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
