Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
