I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
