69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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