I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
