Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
