I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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