hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
