When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
