i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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