Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Jerry, you need to find god
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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