lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
