There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
