I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
