I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
