does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
