69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
