i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
