he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
