Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
pray to the hookup gods
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
