So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
