I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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