people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
