FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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