Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
