idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
