I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
