dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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