yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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