Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
