whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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