I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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