I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
