Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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