Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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