i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
the raccoons are back...
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