I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
