so that wasnt chicken after all
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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