thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
