she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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