great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
