She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
