these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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