id be glad to
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
