Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
