its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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